As I type this blog, I am sitting on a brown carpet in a five bedroom bungalow in Lincolnshire. In fact, I’m even more secluded than that. I am sitting on a brown carpet, in a five bedroom bungalow in Little Steeping, in Lincolnshire. For those of you who have no idea where Lincolnshire is, let alone Little Steeping, do not fear, you are NOT alone. This little town (for want of a smaller description of it) is a good fifteen minutes drive from the nearest shop and about thirty minutes drive from the nearest train station (which, in case you are wondering, is in Skegness)…
Now that you know where I am, let me tell you the story of how I came to end up here.
It all began one overcast Friday morning (well, I’m not precisely sure of the weather, but I’ll bet overcast was a good guess!) when I had finished paying all my bills and making the necessary phone calls. I had packed my suitcase and headed, from Hilary’s, home. I buzzed for Sherelyn to let me in and climbed the stairs (okay, okay, there are only 32 of them in total, but it is hard work, and that’s what I’m sticking to!) I laughed as I reached into my bag and pulled out a shirt and a frozen chunck of minced beef (Mary Poppins eat your heart out!) Sherelyn looked at me and made a comment about how she never thought it possible that I could keep bringing new stuff into the house. I had to explain, that once again, Hilary had given me the meat (I’m not in the habit of storing the frozen food section next to my clothing, I assure you). Laughter over, we discussed our plans for the rest of the day. Sherelyn mentioned that Lionel would be joining us for the weekend (luckily, thanks to my new bed, he would have somewhere to sleep – he would have nothing to sleep under, mind you!)
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This is where the moaning starts, so if you are not too interested, I would skip the next few paragraphs and pick it up from the next set of stars…
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I asked when he would be joining us so that I could make plans – things to do, food, places to sleep, financial arrangements etc. and in typical Sherelyn fashion, she said ‘I don’t know exactly’. A short while later we got a phone call to say that he was not going to be able to make it as he had some arrangements with friends. Sherelyn and I then modified our plans to include going to Tesco after dark to experience the vast pleins of the night time shop (along with that awful piped music that makes you feel as though something is about to happen). We lazed about the house, watching the Bone Collector and (I’m sad to say) nibbled on chocolate. The movie ended and we came back to life. We began to prepare ourselves for the night shop when the phone rang. Sherelyn finished on the phone (21h30) and informed me that Lionel was now able to drive from Bedford to come and spend the weekend, as his plans had fallen through. By this stage, I could care less (as you can no doubt imagine!)
So, I did what any normal 24 year old would do.
I phoned Shaun to shout at him.
After the phone call (which was not nearly as bad as it sounds – I think), it was 23h00. Shopping out the window. No sign of Lionel. Sherelyn not concerned. I began watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory when low and behold, who should arrive… such timing, such timing!!! I played nice (well as nice as I could be, being tired and feeling rather used) and we all sat up talking/listening to music/watching Family Guy until 03h00.
My body clock decided that 10h00 was as good a time as any to be awake, so I obliged. I got up, tip-toed through the lounge, put the kettle on and made tea. Whilst my tea cooled, I went to the bathroom to wash. Once done, I collected my tea from the kitchen and went to my room (again, tip-toeing through the lounge). I got into my room to find my bed talking. No body in sight, just a lump in the bed. The voices giggled and told me that they left room in the bed for me too. Then one voice said that my bed was far warmer than the air bed. This little piggy was not impressed (I contemplated the line ‘and the little one said…’ but thought otherwise). Sighing, I grabbed my clothes and headed back to the bathroom to get dressed. By the time I was done, they appeared to have figured out that I was not too impressed and had moved onto the airbed in the lounge. I made nice, enquired if they needed anything from the shops and then left.
I hit Tesco at 11h00. It was AWFUL, it was absolute chaos. I hate shopping. I hate crowds. I did my shopping and headed back home as quick as I could. I dragged my heels as I walked up the stairs and down the hall toward the front door. As I opened the door, I put my angry eyes in my bum and did a lot of smiling and nodding…
By 13h30 Lionel and Sherelyn had decided to take Lionel’s car instead of public transport (my thinking was that if we went via public transport we could stay as long as we liked and have a merry old time). We hurried out (as we were running late) and piled into Lionel’s car for Birmingham New Street to the Birmingham Gay Pride festival. We eventually found parking and walked to New Street (where the parade would be starting from). Naturally, I got us a little bit lost, but with the help of my trusty iPhone and the useful little google maps tool we arrived in time for the start of the parade. We followed it down one of the alleys, where we stopped to take photos as they paraded past. I could not help but think how much Peter John would have enjoyed the days’ festivities. Once the parade had passed, we went to forage for lunch at Subway (now, in my books, everyone should try Subway at least once when they are here!). Sherelyn seemed to enjoy the food. We finished eating and headed for the car. On our walk to the car, I took us through the street market (Sherelyn would have liked to stay longer to look around, but because we had brought the car, we were unable to stay past our three hour slot – can you hear the phrase ‘I told you so?’ or can you hear the meowing????). We arrived back home, where Lionel had an afternoon nap whilst Sherelyn and I walked down to the shops to get something for dinner (what is with South Africans and afternoon naps??).
We got back to the flat where Sherelyn disappeared and I was left to make dinner. One pot of Nachos later and an apple crumble and custard eaten we were ready for a movie. It was nice to sit next to my big sister watching a movie (funny the things you don’t think you will miss). Once the movie was finished, so was I. I headed to bed and plugged my iPod into my ears and vanished into dreamland.
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Sunday arrived at a more reasonable time (10h00). I made some breakfast and we all headed out to Cannon Hill Park for the day (seemed that all the locals had the same idea, as it was the absolute perfect day for it!) We sat in the shade of a tree drinking cups of tea and talking whilst watching the local people go about their activities. I could not help thinking about home and about how much my mother would love to do something as cool as this. After copious amounts of tea, we walked through the park, out the other side and back in again, then headed for home. It was a really nice relaxing day out. We got back in and fiddled with our laptops (well, i played with Lionel’s laptop to see if I could transfer music from the Apple laptop to my external hard drive – which I couldn’t…) Lionel fiddled with the laptops in between my fiddling. Just before it got dark (around 20h30), Lionel left for home. Sherelyn and I had some dinner, got changed and headed out to Wetherspoons just around the corner. The vibe was rather poor, so after consuming our beverages, discussing the crowd and laughing, we headed to the pub down the road from us. The crowd was much livelier (ok, wetherspoons had called last rounds whilst we were there, which could account for the atmosphere – we shall have to force ourselves to go back and try again!). Around 01h00 we were forced to go home by the last round bell…
We got home, tired, excited, talking and yawning. In a daze, we got changed and climbed into bed. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.
Monday morning was disappointing. The clouds were hanging grey in the sky. As it was Bank holiday, our choices as to what to do were rather limited. I climbed out of bed, and headed to the kitchen to put the kettle on and start breakfast. Sherelyn had ordered eggs and soldiers, so I placed our HUGE pot on the stove and began the boiling egg process. Needless to say, she knew better and began shouting at me telling me how to boil an egg (yes, you read right, HOW TO BOIL AN EGG!). My Saturday frustrations raged inside me and I lost my rag with her, telling her to PLEASE leave the kitchen. Once breakfast was made, I gave her hers and ate mine. I cleaned up and went to get dressed. By this stage, I had cooled down and said that I was being daft. Unfortunately, Sherelyn decided to keep up her sulking for an hour more. Once we had both had our tiffs we were friends again and headed out to Blakesley Hall, a victorian house owned by Birmingham City Council. It was a lovely day out (even with the miserable weather!) Around 15h45 my phone rang and in the blink of an eye, my holiday was over.
I was given a client in, you guessed it, Lincolnshire and asked if I could get there that night. I laughed. I was told that I could catch the 16h15 or the 17h15 train (the last train there) and be at Skegness at 20h55, where I would have to phone a local taxi company to collect me and £20 later I would be at my clients home. I laughed again. Firstly, I was out and had to go to Hilary’s to get some bags and some pots. Secondly, I had to get some fuel. Thirdly, I had to get home to pack. Fourthly, I had to have something to eat. Lastly, I had to plan my journey. All this in the space of thirty minutes… I laughed again… I then said that I would prefer to drive there. This time it was her turn to laugh (in relief though). Then, to my disgust, she said that she would make sure the company completely covers my travel expenses to and from the client…
By 17h30, I was on the road to Lincolnshire and three hours later, I was in Little Steeping.
Now that you know where I am, let me tell you the story of how I came to end up here.
It all began one overcast Friday morning (well, I’m not precisely sure of the weather, but I’ll bet overcast was a good guess!) when I had finished paying all my bills and making the necessary phone calls. I had packed my suitcase and headed, from Hilary’s, home. I buzzed for Sherelyn to let me in and climbed the stairs (okay, okay, there are only 32 of them in total, but it is hard work, and that’s what I’m sticking to!) I laughed as I reached into my bag and pulled out a shirt and a frozen chunck of minced beef (Mary Poppins eat your heart out!) Sherelyn looked at me and made a comment about how she never thought it possible that I could keep bringing new stuff into the house. I had to explain, that once again, Hilary had given me the meat (I’m not in the habit of storing the frozen food section next to my clothing, I assure you). Laughter over, we discussed our plans for the rest of the day. Sherelyn mentioned that Lionel would be joining us for the weekend (luckily, thanks to my new bed, he would have somewhere to sleep – he would have nothing to sleep under, mind you!)
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This is where the moaning starts, so if you are not too interested, I would skip the next few paragraphs and pick it up from the next set of stars…
*****************************************************
I asked when he would be joining us so that I could make plans – things to do, food, places to sleep, financial arrangements etc. and in typical Sherelyn fashion, she said ‘I don’t know exactly’. A short while later we got a phone call to say that he was not going to be able to make it as he had some arrangements with friends. Sherelyn and I then modified our plans to include going to Tesco after dark to experience the vast pleins of the night time shop (along with that awful piped music that makes you feel as though something is about to happen). We lazed about the house, watching the Bone Collector and (I’m sad to say) nibbled on chocolate. The movie ended and we came back to life. We began to prepare ourselves for the night shop when the phone rang. Sherelyn finished on the phone (21h30) and informed me that Lionel was now able to drive from Bedford to come and spend the weekend, as his plans had fallen through. By this stage, I could care less (as you can no doubt imagine!)
So, I did what any normal 24 year old would do.
I phoned Shaun to shout at him.
After the phone call (which was not nearly as bad as it sounds – I think), it was 23h00. Shopping out the window. No sign of Lionel. Sherelyn not concerned. I began watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory when low and behold, who should arrive… such timing, such timing!!! I played nice (well as nice as I could be, being tired and feeling rather used) and we all sat up talking/listening to music/watching Family Guy until 03h00.
My body clock decided that 10h00 was as good a time as any to be awake, so I obliged. I got up, tip-toed through the lounge, put the kettle on and made tea. Whilst my tea cooled, I went to the bathroom to wash. Once done, I collected my tea from the kitchen and went to my room (again, tip-toeing through the lounge). I got into my room to find my bed talking. No body in sight, just a lump in the bed. The voices giggled and told me that they left room in the bed for me too. Then one voice said that my bed was far warmer than the air bed. This little piggy was not impressed (I contemplated the line ‘and the little one said…’ but thought otherwise). Sighing, I grabbed my clothes and headed back to the bathroom to get dressed. By the time I was done, they appeared to have figured out that I was not too impressed and had moved onto the airbed in the lounge. I made nice, enquired if they needed anything from the shops and then left.
I hit Tesco at 11h00. It was AWFUL, it was absolute chaos. I hate shopping. I hate crowds. I did my shopping and headed back home as quick as I could. I dragged my heels as I walked up the stairs and down the hall toward the front door. As I opened the door, I put my angry eyes in my bum and did a lot of smiling and nodding…
By 13h30 Lionel and Sherelyn had decided to take Lionel’s car instead of public transport (my thinking was that if we went via public transport we could stay as long as we liked and have a merry old time). We hurried out (as we were running late) and piled into Lionel’s car for Birmingham New Street to the Birmingham Gay Pride festival. We eventually found parking and walked to New Street (where the parade would be starting from). Naturally, I got us a little bit lost, but with the help of my trusty iPhone and the useful little google maps tool we arrived in time for the start of the parade. We followed it down one of the alleys, where we stopped to take photos as they paraded past. I could not help but think how much Peter John would have enjoyed the days’ festivities. Once the parade had passed, we went to forage for lunch at Subway (now, in my books, everyone should try Subway at least once when they are here!). Sherelyn seemed to enjoy the food. We finished eating and headed for the car. On our walk to the car, I took us through the street market (Sherelyn would have liked to stay longer to look around, but because we had brought the car, we were unable to stay past our three hour slot – can you hear the phrase ‘I told you so?’ or can you hear the meowing????). We arrived back home, where Lionel had an afternoon nap whilst Sherelyn and I walked down to the shops to get something for dinner (what is with South Africans and afternoon naps??).
We got back to the flat where Sherelyn disappeared and I was left to make dinner. One pot of Nachos later and an apple crumble and custard eaten we were ready for a movie. It was nice to sit next to my big sister watching a movie (funny the things you don’t think you will miss). Once the movie was finished, so was I. I headed to bed and plugged my iPod into my ears and vanished into dreamland.
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Sunday arrived at a more reasonable time (10h00). I made some breakfast and we all headed out to Cannon Hill Park for the day (seemed that all the locals had the same idea, as it was the absolute perfect day for it!) We sat in the shade of a tree drinking cups of tea and talking whilst watching the local people go about their activities. I could not help thinking about home and about how much my mother would love to do something as cool as this. After copious amounts of tea, we walked through the park, out the other side and back in again, then headed for home. It was a really nice relaxing day out. We got back in and fiddled with our laptops (well, i played with Lionel’s laptop to see if I could transfer music from the Apple laptop to my external hard drive – which I couldn’t…) Lionel fiddled with the laptops in between my fiddling. Just before it got dark (around 20h30), Lionel left for home. Sherelyn and I had some dinner, got changed and headed out to Wetherspoons just around the corner. The vibe was rather poor, so after consuming our beverages, discussing the crowd and laughing, we headed to the pub down the road from us. The crowd was much livelier (ok, wetherspoons had called last rounds whilst we were there, which could account for the atmosphere – we shall have to force ourselves to go back and try again!). Around 01h00 we were forced to go home by the last round bell…
We got home, tired, excited, talking and yawning. In a daze, we got changed and climbed into bed. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.
Monday morning was disappointing. The clouds were hanging grey in the sky. As it was Bank holiday, our choices as to what to do were rather limited. I climbed out of bed, and headed to the kitchen to put the kettle on and start breakfast. Sherelyn had ordered eggs and soldiers, so I placed our HUGE pot on the stove and began the boiling egg process. Needless to say, she knew better and began shouting at me telling me how to boil an egg (yes, you read right, HOW TO BOIL AN EGG!). My Saturday frustrations raged inside me and I lost my rag with her, telling her to PLEASE leave the kitchen. Once breakfast was made, I gave her hers and ate mine. I cleaned up and went to get dressed. By this stage, I had cooled down and said that I was being daft. Unfortunately, Sherelyn decided to keep up her sulking for an hour more. Once we had both had our tiffs we were friends again and headed out to Blakesley Hall, a victorian house owned by Birmingham City Council. It was a lovely day out (even with the miserable weather!) Around 15h45 my phone rang and in the blink of an eye, my holiday was over.
I was given a client in, you guessed it, Lincolnshire and asked if I could get there that night. I laughed. I was told that I could catch the 16h15 or the 17h15 train (the last train there) and be at Skegness at 20h55, where I would have to phone a local taxi company to collect me and £20 later I would be at my clients home. I laughed again. Firstly, I was out and had to go to Hilary’s to get some bags and some pots. Secondly, I had to get some fuel. Thirdly, I had to get home to pack. Fourthly, I had to have something to eat. Lastly, I had to plan my journey. All this in the space of thirty minutes… I laughed again… I then said that I would prefer to drive there. This time it was her turn to laugh (in relief though). Then, to my disgust, she said that she would make sure the company completely covers my travel expenses to and from the client…
By 17h30, I was on the road to Lincolnshire and three hours later, I was in Little Steeping.
