Hello again from wet Staplehurst!
I was asked the other day 'how are you?' I replied that I was good. My friend, Barry, replied: 'No, I mean how are YOU?' At first I did not understand what he meant. I dumbly replied that I had already answered the question. After laughing at me, he said, 'I read your blog, I know how things are going, but you never talk about yourself, how you feel and how you are doing'. I realised that this is quite true. Later on that evening, Shaun asked me the exact same question...
So, I fingure that this post will start off telling you what is going on here (as I usually do), and will end telling you how I am.
Let's begin!
My time with Alex has been both too long and too short. I have learned so much from him and I feel I still have so much to learn. I have spent the last two weeks being his hands, and watching in awe how his normal and my normal are so VERY different. I have seen just how much I take for granted, indeed, how much we all take for granted. Getting out of bed can take anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours (and not because he is going back to sleep and taking it slow!)
I have spent most of my days following the same routine (obviously, alex has quite a strict routine (which, we cannot change)). I get up at 07h30, get dressed and go downstairs to give Alex his tablets at 08h00. I then get him bathed/showered, dressed and ready for the dayahead. By the time we are ready to get the day on the road, it is time for his next set of tablets.
There is no time for a cup of coffee (and even if I wanted one, there is none available to me).
After this, it is generally lunch time (which means me making sandwiches). Once lunch is over, he generally has visitors. I take this time to clean (or go to my apartment and take time out). At 17h00 it is time for his next set of tablets and this is followed by dinner. After dinner, I help clean up and then go to my apartment to bath and watch some TV, catch up on email etc. By the time I have done all of that it is time to prepare Alex for bed and give him his 22h00 tablets.
After the really long day, I go back to my apartment and fall into bed...
Don't think that all day's are this busy, but most days follow this routine, which make this placement too long...
What have I done whilst in Staplehurst, I hear you asking???
Well, I have walked to Iden Croft Herb Garden. I wondered around the gardens for a while (but because it is not herb season (that is in spring apparently) and because we had a thunderstorm (well high winds and LOTS of water falling from the sky), their gardens were a little poor). They had various themed sections, but alas, due to the abovementioned things, I could not get in to see them. I ended my tour of the gardens in the tea shop, where I had a cream tea (which consists of a pot of tea, a scone with butter, double cream and a pot of strawberry jam) for £3.20. I really enjoyed it! Now, I know you are waiting for the story attached to this tea garden... because you just know that something had to have happened... well, if this is what you were thinking, then you would be right!
I was sitting drinking my tea and eating my scone (in an empty, peaceful, quiet, tea shop) when the owner (a really old little lady) decided she would like to talk to me. She sat down at the table next to me, all shakily. Looked over at me, almost assessing me. Smiled. And then it began...
"Do you live in Staplehurst?", "Where are you from?", "What do you do?", "Who do you work for?", and on and on and on... Whilst I enjoyed the company over tea, I felt rather pressured to eat the scone immaculately (not sure why... perhaps it was because I knew she was assessing me?) Now, you all know me, so you know that I could not resist smiling and nodding whilst she spoke about her career, her children, her life in Staplehurst, her herb garden, the old folk who visit the tea shop weekly, the lack of customers over the weekends, the thunderstorm, the scones, her knowledge of all the people in the area, her fond memories of the foot paths, her opinion about South Africa and Britain, and her financial situation...
I must admit though, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience (perhaps because I feel a little lonely these days and so could identify with her?)
After the herb garden, I walked back using various foot paths (which go through forests, churchyards and open stretches of land).
I have been into the local church and seen the many many graves surrounding it. The church will be undergoing renovations at the end of this year (they will be installing infrared heating, moving the altar and re-arranging the seating)... I feel that somehow the church will lose its aged feeling. I walked around the 'garden' outside the church and looked at the headstones. They have a memorial section for the war veterans, which I found VERY interesting.
I have walked down into the village, where there is a chemist, a spar (yes, a spar), a bank, a bottle store, a few estate agents, a funeral home and an optometrist. As you can imagine, everyone seems to know everyone else in this town, so I got 'watched' a lot (fresh blood???)
This week, I had the luxuary of wireless internet connection, so I managed to get in touch with many people, update my blog and SURF!!!! Not only did my uncle in Northern Ireland contact me (so now I can make plans to go across and see the other half of my family!), but this luxuary resulted in me getting in contact with my great aunt and uncle and their son. At first, I was a little aprehensive, as to whether or not I should contact them, or if I should carry on as I was... I figured I should get in contact (what was the worst that could happen???). I sent them an email (not expecting a reply) and within the week, not only had I received a reply, but I had a phone call and my weekend arranged!!!! SO, tomorrow, I am off to Wales to spend the weekend with them!!! I have arranged my journey through to them for the afternoon (as I hand over to the new PA at 12h00 and am meeting Jo in Sevenoaks). My great aunty Ivy will be meeting me at Birmingham Street station and accompanying me on the long train trip to her place - I CAN'T WAIT!!! I think it is going to be quite funny meeting my uncle (who is younger than I am!) Did I mention that the trip to Wales is going to take me six hours and six minutes????? It's like going to Durban (only better!!!)
Now, for the part most of you are nosy about...
ME
I will have been away from home for three months next week Sunday. I have found this journey both difficult and easy. I find myself going to bed remembering the smell of my feather duvet, my cats curled either side of me in bed, the ticking clock on my piano, my late night smses and most of all, kissing my family good night. These are some of the hardest parts I face every night. Whilst I remember the bad parts (being scared when I heard noises in the house at night, having to lock doors, having to look over my shoulder etc.) I can't resist the urge to think fondly of home. I miss so many things, so many people - most days I am able to distract myself from thinking about home, but other days, it sneaks up on me and I feel very overwhelmed.
I really dislike the uncertainty I am faced with (it's in the little things: do I greet my client merrily in the morning? do I pat the dog? do I wait until the family has left the kitchen before I eat breakfast? do I help cook dinner? do I unpack the dishwasher? do I vacuum the floor, mop it or do I scrub it? to the bigger things: how does the public transport work? where will I stay in my break? do I have enough money? will the bank account still be open? when will I get my National Insurance number? Should I start a retirement scheme of my own (if so, how?) Should I buy a car first, or a home (do I need either?)?) These make me miss home more and more each day, and make me realise just how much I took for granted. I figure that I only miss home because of its predictibility, because it was somewhere to return to each night, because it was always there for me, because 'I knew'.
Most days, I find myself thinking about how nice it would be to go out for tea with my mother (and how much I miss it). I think about the long afternoons spent at Eastwoods amongst friends, faced with Gerti's pancakes and a bottomless pot of tea, I think about the cups and cups of Wimpy mega coffees. I think about the Tuesday tea with Melanie and Kelsey and this always seems to be followed with thoughts about the evening rush (getting home before my dad, cooking dinner and the mad rush when everyone arrives home). I find myself thinking about Shaun and the things we could have done, should have done...
And other days, I think about my future. I think of how much potential I have, how much I can now achieve (and how many more opportunities I have). I find myself thinking how lucky I am, how nice everyone has been to me (from complete strangers like Bethany and Wendy to good friends like Carl, Sarah and her family and Konrad, to family - both new found and old faithfuls, like Ivy and Martin, David, Ray and my Grandparents). I think just how lucky I was to get the job I have, how lucky I am to have parents like I have and how happy I can be.
I am reminded daily how loved I am, from a friendly email, a nice online chat, a quick poke, some solid advice and short smses to long phone calls and nice visits. I know that no matter what happens, I have learned so many life lessons and I have learned that no matter how far away from home I travel, I will always be welcomed back, knowingly.
So, you ask me how I am?
Happy.
Scared.
Excited...
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